The reason I"m questioning this aspect about myself is the fact that I have not been involved with many guys. I"m scared that when I do get a boyfriend, he will try to manipulate me and use me to get things that he wants by pushing my kindness too far. For example, I used to be such a nerd in highschool. I got good grades in my class, and was often the head in my classes. People started wanted to hang out with me. At the time I thought it was because they like me for the kind of person of was. But I found out later, they just wanted me around so they could copy my homework and use me to get the right answers on homework assignments. This hurt me alot, and caused me to shy away from people. But I learned that not all people are bad, and that made me open myself up more.

I know that this entry is going off on tangents, but it bothers me that guys would only date me for my body or for sex. I want someone who would go with me for my mind and the fact that I'm an intelligent person, or for my personality. I often want to change who I am. I wish that I had more backbone,and could stand up for myself more. I think that possibly that I am too nice sometimes. I think that it is often good to say no to people sometimes. Ugh, I know that this is not making any sense, but this is how I'm feeling right now. But on a happier note, I was approached tonight at work. I guy came up to me and said hi. He asked me where I lived. He did not ask for my name, but that is okay. I see him around alot. He lives in Lothian, which is another dormitory. I think that everytime that I see him I will smile and say hi to him. He is very cute-tall, nice brown complexion, a nice smile with dimples. I'm just glad that I was noticed by someone. I felt have been feeling invisible to guys lately. I"m too shy to approach them. But it made my day to have him say hi to me. Hopefully you readers will hear more about this mystery guy.