So I talked to Duaine last night. Everyone in the hall always makes fun of me because I"m always on the phone with him. Last night he told me that he really likes me, in the way of dating, that kind of like. I already knew this, because the night before last he told me that he had something to tell me. I did not help him out in telling me either, I made him tell me himself. Go me!

Yeah, I Have decided that I like him in the same way. But it is so complicate because I met him on the internet and he lives so far away. I love talking to him, he makes me feel so good. He makes me laugh and smile, and he makes me think about things about myself.

True, I have just been talking to him on the internet, and have never seen him in real life, just pictures. So everyone I know will say that I do not really know him really well. That is true, I don't. But from our conversations I have gotten to know him better, and to tell you the truth, he is a great person.

My mother does not agree with me talking to him mainly because he served time in jail for selling drugs. He has been out of jail for almost a year, and is doing very well. But she does not want to hear it. She thinks I should meet someone here at school, someone who is more like me. I think it does not always work that way. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and I feel that I have met this man for some reason. I Have been praying for guidance from the Lord on whether or not this is the right thing for me to do. I know that he will give me a sign on whether or not this thing that I'm pursuing is right for me.

I have not told my mother or father that I like this man in this way, and they will probably flip out on me. Hey, I would too, if my child told me that I wanted to date someone that I met on the internet. But things do not happen in the norm all of the time.

I have been thinking about the pros and cons of this situation. Last night Duaine told me that it is up to me on what decision I make. He only wants me happy. He wants me to think with my head and my heart on what decision I will make.

Duaine is thinking of coming out this way. He wants to go to Colorado to visit some family and he might not go back east for awhile. He is willing to try to see if it will work out or not. He is a risk taker, I can see that in him. I don't think that I am though.

It is just so frustrating you know? I have met this wonderful man, and he is so far away. Maybe it was meant to work out this way.

I just do not understand why my mother would not want me not to talk to him. I think my dad would be much understanding of it though, I don't know why. I bet it would be the same situation with Duaine, if I met him here at school, my mother would not want me to assoiciate with him because he has spent time in jail and has a criminal record. It is not like it is an arm's length and the offenses are murdering and raping young women. No, that is not the case at all. I think that this type of discrimination is wrong. True, he messed up some point in his life, but he is good person and is doing well for himself right now.

I know both of my parents just want the best for me, and want me to be careful, but they have got to let me live my life for me. I promise that I will keep my guard up, because I know that this man could be lying, but I just feel in my heart that all that he has told me is the truth.

Hey, anyway, I still need to think about this somemore too, and Duaine knows this, which is what I like about him. He has not pushed me to say or do anything that I do not want to do.

Now, to get the courage to tell my mother and my father what I feel. Wish me Luck!

~Michelle~