For her to say this, it makes me really angry and frustrated, because I feel that she is not trying hard enough, and is just giving up. I feel especially bad for shemika, because she still loves with my mom, and for my mom to want to go into a hospital or boarding care, that would leave her all alone. Shemika cannot afford to get an apartment by herself, she has no money in savings or anything. Since, I am on the least too at the apartment, that would leave me responsible for rent and such, and that sucks, because I do not live there anymore, but I am still on the lease. I will have to go to the office this weekend, and put in my 30 day notice, for which I am still reponsible for rent and such for the next 30 days.

I know that I am probably being selfish about this, but this could really screw up my name, with me being on the lease still, and her wanting to get help. But I feel that she has gotten ill again because she stopped going therapy. True, she was well again, but that does not mean you stop going, you need to continue to go every week, to keep well. This happens like every year and a half, where she get's really sick. I do not think she is sick enough to go into the hospital. She is not a threat to herself to others, she is not suicidal. I think she is just depresse about her problems. She worries way to much about things. People are in the same boat that she is in, but she feels that she cannot go on.

This what happens when you stop going to therapy because you feel that you are well enough, or stop taking your medication like you are supposed to. The whole thing just stresses me out. Shemika and I have been going through this since I was 11. When my mother woudl get sick, we would be bounced aroudn from our grandmother, to back home again. There is so much you can take you know? But I will continue to pray for her. The devil wants to see our family down and torn, and the good Lord will not let that happen. She needs to pray, and to continue to push forward, and not give up.