It is starting again
I am so upset right now. I feel like I have been beaten by a bat or something. The money issue thing is arising between my mother again. I feel that I am coming to a point where I can't take care of myself anymore. I mean, I had to close my savings account the last two time because of her billls and her needs, and then I am without. I have resorted to not telling her that I am squirreling away money on the side and not telling her where it is. I feel bad that I have to lie to her about those things, but is the only way I can save money now. I am tired of her calling me at odd times of the month for various amounts of money. It is time I talk to her about giving her a set amount each month, and if that 100 bucks does not cover the expense, or she still does not have money to cover her bills, then that is tough because I can't go on in this way. i will poor and out on the street at this rate.
I am emotinally and physically drained. This ordeal has made me sick. My stomach is in knots, and my stomach hurts so much from crying. I called in to work today sick because I honestly do not feel well. I went to my internship this morning, and left because I was so upset. My boss was so understanding, and I even talked to her about what is going on. She is such a sweetheart, I am going to have to get her a thank you card or something.
I am taking the day off for myself. It will be good just to take care of me for a change instead of worrying about other people today.
I hope in time I will be able to say no more often. It is so hard to say no, especially if you are used to be obeying your mother for such a long time. But I have not been very happy in a long time because of this stuff, and it can't keep going on, because I do not want to have a nervous breakdown, that would horrible.
I am so upset right now. I feel like I have been beaten by a bat or something. The money issue thing is arising between my mother again. I feel that I am coming to a point where I can't take care of myself anymore. I mean, I had to close my savings account the last two time because of her billls and her needs, and then I am without. I have resorted to not telling her that I am squirreling away money on the side and not telling her where it is. I feel bad that I have to lie to her about those things, but is the only way I can save money now. I am tired of her calling me at odd times of the month for various amounts of money. It is time I talk to her about giving her a set amount each month, and if that 100 bucks does not cover the expense, or she still does not have money to cover her bills, then that is tough because I can't go on in this way. i will poor and out on the street at this rate.
I am emotinally and physically drained. This ordeal has made me sick. My stomach is in knots, and my stomach hurts so much from crying. I called in to work today sick because I honestly do not feel well. I went to my internship this morning, and left because I was so upset. My boss was so understanding, and I even talked to her about what is going on. She is such a sweetheart, I am going to have to get her a thank you card or something.
I am taking the day off for myself. It will be good just to take care of me for a change instead of worrying about other people today.
I hope in time I will be able to say no more often. It is so hard to say no, especially if you are used to be obeying your mother for such a long time. But I have not been very happy in a long time because of this stuff, and it can't keep going on, because I do not want to have a nervous breakdown, that would horrible.
Miss
these? ----- 4 months later - 2007-03-11 Being a Social Worker - 2006-11-07 Need a new Job!! - 2006-10-11 Two Months into my New Life - 2006-08-30 Loving the Job - 2006-08-17 |
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Reading : Shocking Pink by Erica Spindler
Wearing : purple sweater gray slacks
Listening To : John Legend's Gift Lifted
Feeling :
Wearing : purple sweater gray slacks
Listening To : John Legend's Gift Lifted
Feeling :
Thank
you